9. You are my sister!

You are my sister!

His health conditions varied, with a series of cold body temperatures followed by stances of hot temperatures. Sometimes, he complained about headaches and dizziness. Blood tests revealed he had malaria. Which was probably true, as he used to be a member of the provincial border police for almost a year and has only been home for a few days on leave from work. In the malaria department at the hospital, Bounhom was sitting on a wooden bench, looking up to the sky and letting his eyes wandering toward the west. This perfect siting brought back memory of the past, especially an event that occurred three years earlier.
That night, three years ago, one year prior to the anniversary of the foundation of the Champasack's Wat Phou monument, uninterrupted chains of visitors flocked in and out of the temple. As a professional photographer, Bounhom then had a female friend with him all the time to take the names of the festival's participants he took the pictures. He greeted people with a smiling face, chatted, and posed with them, and occasionally, sent a happy smile to his companion. He held the camera, made the usual "One, two, three" count, clicked on the camera lens, and referred folks to his assistant for forwarding addresses. Between picture shootings, he held friendly and personal conversations with his companion. He asked her many questions such as "Do you care for a drink?" that reflected deep concern and care. Sometimes, he exhaled a deep breath because of the many personal problems he was facing, especially the precarious financial status of his parents. For this very reason, he had to make special efforts to help support his parents. Each time he thought about this issue, he silently glanced at his friend, although he had not shared his concerns with anybody else.
"You don't have to worry about me! Whatever works for you works for me", she said. When he heard that, Bounhom smiled back at his friend. This was all caused by the current economic situation that forced people to do what they could to get immediate results. People often feel powerless each time they talk about the economy. For this very reason, he felt the urge to ask his friend a few questions from time to time.
"Bouaphan, you already knew about my parents' financial condition, didn't you? "
Bouaphan raised her hand as a signal for Bounhom to stop raising this issue. She fully understood the implications; she herself opted to do what she could to survive the hard times. Bounhom and his friend have known each other for a long time, although he never dared telling her, "I love you" even once, because he felt that words have less meaning than action.  He felt that the way he acted with her amply implied she was his one and only love. What he did and said should unmistakably point to this fact. Clearly, he maintained high hope for this girl he considered his ultimate love.
He continued to pay visit to her and sometimes even had dinner with her family because he lived a little too far from her house.
"Bounhom, my son, have dinner first before you leave. This evening I made a special dinner for you!"
"Yes, M'am, I will."
He frequently turned down similar invitations, but on that particular night, he didn't feel strong enough to do so. Although he felt ashamed, he had to share dinner with his friend's family. She used to tell him about the wedding plan her mother had for her, but she didn't want to go along because there were too many irreconcilable differences between the would-be partners. This made her feel bad, but she has been able to gain her parents' understanding by promising them she would get married once she has found a compatible mate.  Several months have since elapsed until that night. Even though there had been no direct or explicit references to a marriage, her continuing close relationships with Bounhom provided a good indication of the expected outcome to her parents and neighbors. The only impediment was the fact that Bounhom was a policeman in green uniform and under strict discipline and, more importantly, he was still in school. Her status was more favorable:  she was employed as a primary school teacher at the local school district, and her love relationships with Bounhom rested on solid grounds. The two had an exclusive one-to-one relationship, with promises to make that booming relationship into a permanent one soon. Bounhom had full confidence in his girlfriend and was fully dedicated to completing his education that was so critical to their future. During school breaks, Bounhom often spent time helping Bouaphan's family as a sign of his unfettered love for her. Another reason was Bounhom's desire to convey a message to Bouaphan's parents.
As the exam date approached, he had to concentrate on his studies and thus reduce the number of his visits to his girl friend. Additional after-school duties also caused an irregular visitation schedule.  Because Bouaphan badly missed her boy friend Bounhom, she sometimes became sad and worried, especially when she couldn't figure out what he might be doing or thinking. She couldn't understand why Bounhom didn't come to see her. This all came at a time when a foreign lumber trader was trying to win her parents' sympathy by offering them expensive gifts of all kinds. At first, she didn't pay attention to the man, but in the end couldn't refuse to welcome him as a visitor. Because of her initial reluctance, he had to try times and times again to win over her heart at all costs. These relentless attempts, coupled with Bounhom's unexplained silence, made her sick for many days. She didn't want to believe she could succumb to this suitor because of his huge fortune alone. Eventually, the sweet love she shared with Bounhom began to slowly fade away. She often raised her hands in prayer and to signal she was about to cross the danger zone. She felt wrapped in a scary shadow that covered both her past and her future, immobilizing her completely. She felt forced to move into a dark area, under the weight of a thick cloud that almost squeezed her to death. On one side of darkness lied a steep cliff akin to hell. All she could do was to cry for help from her lover, but to no avail. She finally resigned to her fate and begged in silence for excuse and forgiveness:
"Farewell, my love. I'm no longer able to keep the promise I made to you."
The news of this new development reached Bounhom and took him by surprise. He was stunned beyond comparison. That same year, upon completion of his tests, he immediately asked for a leave of absence from the authorities. He headed south on his faithful Honda 50 motorcycle, running across a thick forest, amidst the cold weather of December 1995, noisy insects, and strong winds that permeated his whole body. He was frustrated he couldn't get his Honda 50 to run faster, but he kept turning the accelerator to the max and looked straight ahead.
Under a yellowish sunlight, Bouaphan was busy throwing food from the veranda to the poultry below. She was surprised to see a motorcycle stop by at her house gate, driven by no one else but Bounhom.  As he was about to park, she instinctively greeted him, with tears in her eyes:
"Oh,  Ai Hom, you finally came!"
She wasn't sure whether she was excited or felt guilty. She stayed on the veranda and let tears run down both of her beautiful cheeks. Bounhom greeted her back,
"Hello! Miss Schoolteacher!"
His greeting was loud and he was also laughing. But his usual good spirit was cut short when he saw Bouaphan crying profusely on the veranda.
"Bouaphan, what's wrong with you? Are you sick?" asked Bounhom, as he walked upstairs toward her. But she didn't say a word, just continued to cry to relieve herself. Without bothering to put down his luggage on the floor, Bounhom grabbed Bouaphan's arms and started talking to her with extreme concern.
"Bouaphan, tell me the truth. You are not feeling well?" he asked, while touching her head and looking for something unusual. As Bouaphan's mother appeared, he proceeded to ask her as well in a very tone:
"What's wrong with Bouaphan, M'am?"
He didn't get any answer from her either and was about to say something when she beat him to it.
"She is OK. Maybe she was too excited to see you!"
These words took Bouahom by surprise. Never in the past did Bouaphan react this way when she saw him. She was always very articulate and used to laugh with happiness. Bounhom walked inside the house, put his luggage down, and went back out to the veranda, took the can of grains from Bouaphan's hands and went on to feed the poultry and the pigs, and watered the blooming flowers in a big vase by the stairs. He did exactly what he used to do before. He did all the homework and kept chatting with Bouaphan and her mother about almost anything, including his studies.
"Two three months ago, I had to study with great intensity. This was my last year of school. But I have to apologize for not writing. I wanted to wait until after I'm done to come here and bring the good news myself. I still haven't got my diploma, but I was dying to come over. I had to ask for a special permission. Tomorrow I will have to go back to receive the diploma and learn about my future job assignment. After that, I will be back again. That's it. A nice smile is better than running tears; it prolongs life."
 While talking, Bouahom kept watching Bouaphan. Her smile was still captivating, but somewhat subdued. Today's meeting forced Bounhom to take another look at himself. After dinner, he had a chance to chat alone with Bouaphan in the veranda, under a moonlight that filtered through the leaves of a coconut tree. After a long speechless moment, Bounhom was the first to speak up with some hesitation:
"Bouaphan, we have not seen each other for some time now. If you are still true to our love, you should be congratulated." One could sense that somehow their get together that night was different from earlier encounters, which were always marked with smiles and happy laughers.
"If you have anything on your mind, you have to tell me. Or, did I cause you problems?" he added with a trembling voice. The quietness of the night further increased his inner sense of uncertainty and fear. He got no answers, other than a faint denial,
"There is nothing wrong, believe me. I will only love you; there is nobody else that can separate us."
These words were far from convincing to Bounhom. The rest of the night went by without anything new being heard or said.
The following morning, Bounhom went back to school empty-handed, with more questions than answers. He was afraid his love was under jeopardy. He felt like he had to drag his two legs away, and that something was pulling them back. He took with him a big baggage and a lot of desperation. He didn't want to believe that somebody he used to love and cherish could now change her mind. How could she be such a cold murdered who can kill her lover. The rumors he heard about Bouaphan continued to flood his ears and he felt he had to come back to see her once more to sort out the truth.
"Bouaphan, do you love me or not?" he asked her with his eyes wandering aimlessly. He tried to add,
"I thought you knew how much I loved you but our relationship....", but was interrupted by Bouaphan.
"It's true that love was involved, but I have never heard you say that you loved me.  Am I right or not?" she asked.
These words got Bounhom so flabbergast he had to look at her intensely, feeling as pale as if he had contracted malaria, which he just recovered from recently. She put up a straight face of a victor, while Bounhom started shedding tears of pain. The love that got him going has now become a source of torment and a painful lesson. The unthinkable became reality. What he thought would never happen did indeed happen. He felt like a monument than could move but had no soul. It was like being possessed by devil; unable to do anything except allowing tears to run out. He didn't remember how did he get back to school.
At first, the many amenities that come with being maintained by a wealthy lover benefited Bouaphan's health and appearance. The local authorities advised her to change for the better and she ended up leaving her schoolteacher job. This was something she never dreamed could happen. The daily problems she now faced were not what she wished to see, but were the direct results of her own decisions. The red storm that pushed her was scary and presented an increasing danger that gradually followed her in small steps. She did face reality and learned to cope with it, but her current materialistic happiness provided no clues as to how meaningful her future would be. For that reason, she chose to lead the life of a rich lady who could afford to make unrestricted expenses, buy expensive make-ups, perfume, and jewelry that make her look and fell like a real beauty.
Months became years but nothing was to stand still, even her way of thinking. She let tears run down her cheeks to relieve her enduring pain. Did she have any other options or were those her only choices? Who could help her forget the ills of this world? Questions kept popping up in her mind. All those hidden worries led her to take a bus into town one day to buy things she needed. Since she only went to the market once in a while, she got tired easily. So, she decided to take a rest in the bus terminal. By pure coincidence, a young man on a motorcycle with a camera in his hand walked in through the front door. She could help but call him quietly,
"Oh, Ai Hom, where are you heading?"
Bounhom didn't hear what she said, but he has already seen her when he came in through the front door. This meeting was not like previous meetings two three years ago, although Bouaphan was still thinking about Bounhom and vice-versa.
"How are your parents? Are they still OK?" he asked.
"Yes, they are OK. How about yourself? You look slimmer!"
This was a chance for the two to socialize and reiterate their feelings towards each other. Memories of the past and the passion they once had for each other came back. Bouaphan started crying, but Bounhom was quick at warning her,
"Don't cry, I feel ashamed", he said while looking left and right.
Bouaphan dried her tears and looked at Bounhom. The two looked at each other and smiled. He said,
"It's time for you to take care of yourself" and waited for a reply.
"I don't know what to do, because I feel like an outcast and ".
Bounhom interrupted her and added,
"It's never too late to change, if you are willing to try".
This encounter created some hope for the two old lovers and got Bouaphan to promise she would try to change.  Three months later, Bouaphan met an errand goldsmith who used to know her in the past and hold no grudges whatsoever against her. Beside being a jeweler, this man was also able to mend the emotional injuries that Bouaphan had received. The two promised to live together until death split them apart. After a formal traditional wedding, the couple decided to move to Vientiane to lead a normal life up there.
Time flew very fast. Less than three years later, just before he was admitted to the hospital, Bounhom was writing a letter on a desk inside his home, fully content with his life. A girl stepped off a motorized taxi, handed him a letter and then left. Bounhom immediately opened the letter that reads as follows:
 “Dear Ai Bounhom,
"You and I have not met for quite some time. Are you and your parents still in good health? As for me, I'm always healthy. I'm married and we now live in Vientiane. We have a one year and one half baby who just started to learn to speak; he looks exactly as cute as his uncle Bounhom.
"Ai Hom, thanks to you, I now have a new life. You gave me good advice, and this I will never forget. If you happen to be in Vientiane, make sure to pay me a visit. I will have your brother-in-law show you around. He is the only one actively working. All I do is take care of the jewelry shop. In this envelope I'm sending you 150,000 kips to pay for your breakfast and coffee. Do not forget to come and see us.
"I wish you and your family the best.
"From your sister,
"Bouaphan."
After reading the letter, Bounhom laid it down on this desk and mumbled quietly, "Bouaphan! May you always be lucky. You are a true sister.”