The Cold
Wind of New-York
The words "Have a
Good trip" expressed by her friends and relatives when she was walking out
of the house to head to the Wattay airport to catch a flight to America are
still resonating in Bang-One's heart. She felt an extreme pain as if she was in
hell. The thought of returning to her native country had crossed her mind, but
she was really running out of idea. All
she could do was to cry, as the image of the past kept following her in her
mind as if she was a destitute and lonely person.
Bang-One knew that
everyone born in this world wishes to be successful, but it all depends on
fate.
`“Who do you expect to
come in and hand over good fate to you? You have to earn it, don’t just sit and
wait for it to happen by itself. When you had a chance, why didn’t you grab
it?” asked Douangdala with a serious voice.
"What do you want
me to do? America and Laos are far apart, Bang-One!"
“Don’t worry! When I
promise help, help will come. Tomorrow, give me your photo and I will send it to
him.”
Nobody knew how long
these two girls have been talking on this subject. From a distance, all you
could see was that they were shaking their heads and that their mood kept
changing from morose to entertaining and back. Shortly after that, Douangdala
walked away from Bang-One and headed out to the street to catch a Tuk-Tuk
motorcycle for a ride to downtown. She soon disappeared behind the heavy
traffic.
The following evening,
Bang-one appeared in front of a two-floor villa along Dongpalane Street. She
used her left hand to ring the bell at the front door. A few minutes later, a
woman of about thirty five years old came out to meet with her. No one knew
what they were talking about. Five minutes later, that same woman opened the
front door and Bang-One disappeared into the house.
The sun has already
set down, with only some weak light to the west. Some of the clouds looked like
dancing girls; others reminded more about the fight prince Sinxay had with ogre
Khoumphane in trying to get his aunt back to Bengchane city.
Darkness
took over and soon a light bulb lit up from behind the windows of that house. Around
the fence, the light hit the holy tree in front of the house, creating moving
shadows. Along the main street, many cars were running by. Along the street
curb, scintillating color lights were flashing over pedestrians who went in and
out amid terrible sounds of motor bikes and big cars horns.
At a Disco shop in
Vientiane, lots of people, including teen-agers and middle-age folks, came by to
enjoy dancing under loud and penetrating music and gray smokes and vacillating
lights. Bang-One and Douangdala were also there. One could only see them move
their lips and lift their fingers left and right, sometimes smiling happily.
Bang-One looked somewhat a little bit strange, because she was dressed
differently than those who surrounded her, wearing a thin blouse, and tightly
fitted above-the-knees jeans that revealed navels moving in and out like a
snake’s hanging tongue.
“Bang-One, tomorrow
you have to get on the Internet with me. I will show you something,"
Douangdala told her while walking out of the club.
"I can only watch
when you do things I’m not familiar with."
“That’s OK. I am doing
this just for my best friend. But do not
forget, when you are well off, send me a few dollars," Douangdala said
while elbowing her friend’s hip and laughing noisily.
“May that wish you
made come true! I will never forget
you."
The next morning came.
At sunrise, Douangdala and Bang-One rode a motor cycle on the way to the Internet
shop. Bang-One sat on the left hand side of Douangdala to watch her smart
friend work on the computer. She looked and acted so professional like she
boasted she would do.
“It
worked! Give me your photo. I am going to have the computer scan it," said
Douangdala without looking at Bang-One.
“Here it is!” Bang-One
pulled her photo from her pocket and handed it to Douangdala.
“Wow! Ai Chantai will
surely be overwhelmed," she said jokingly, taking the photo from her, "Take
a look! You are even more beautiful than a Thai movie superstar."
Time has gone much
faster than Bang-One could believe. Chantai flew to Vientiane right after he
saw the photo that Douangdala sent him via the Internet. He immediately agreed
to give money to Bang-One so she could pay for her English lessons.
“This money, spend it
to learn English and use the Internet for easier communication between us. But
I have to leave now because I am very busy. As soon as you have completed your
studies, I will come and ask for your hands so we can live together forever
without being separated again. I promise to take good care of you,"
Chantai outlined his commitment at length. After getting acquainted for two
days and giving room for hope to Bang-One, Chantai flew to back the US.
Time passed like water
running under the bridge, Bang-One and Chantai were able to communicate by E-mail,
sending each other love messages and tender thoughts via the most modern
electronic means available. Their intimate relationship continued to grow every
day, but the waiting period also continued to extend. That one year of waiting
seemed as long as a century. This was both hot and cold time to wait for the
happiest day of your life to arrive.
The color of the western
sky started changing slowly from fully transparent to darker cover. From afar,
one could see groups of three or four birds flying back to their nests. Bang-One
sat with one hand under her cheeks near a concrete table in front of her house
and watched the birds disappear behind the clouds. She dreamed about her future
and her life goals, hoping that one day in the very near future she would enjoy
a bright life with her family, including her parents and younger brothers and
sisters.
And then, the day she
was waiting for finally arrived with Chantai’s return to Vientiane. A lavish
engagement ceremony was performed, which was the norm when the groom-to-be comes
from abroad. Dollar bills were exchanged to seal the marriage of a 15 to 16 years
old girl. The wedding took place at the big Lane-Xang Hotel. It was a great
wedding party.
Some people jealously
spoke about Bang-One and wished they could enjoy the same good fate. But that
was not to be, because we all have had different past lives. Some made valuable
merit-making donations like elephants, and others could only afford to donate
frogs and the like. The payback cannot be the same. Bang-One was not the only
one to be all smiles; the villagers too were very pleased with her and even a
tad jealous. Some wished they could be like her and die with their eyes closed.
Once the wedding was
over, the new couple flew to the US, which was where they had planned to build
the base for their family and live a long life together as husband and wife as
blessed by the elders.
Oh,
my God! The US is such a huge country. You rarely see any trees from where you
are, and there are so many high rise buildings that almost touch the sky. Seen
from the top floor of the buildings, ground streets look no bigger than a human
hand, and cars look no taller than ants. Bang-One, who was used to living in a
muddy land, was overwhelmed. She was very proud to have a husband like Chantai
who pulled her out of a dire situation. She was dying to contact Douangdala and
thank her via the internet if only the computer machine can understand her human
language. Without the internet, there was no way she could have been married
with Chantai. She felt extremely happy.
Three month passed by.
Bang-One only spent time eating and sleeping like a very happy stay-home spouse
who doesn’t have to go out to work. Chantai was the only one who went grocery
shopping and brought home everything they needed every day. As she didn’t have
to expose herself to the sun and the wind, her skin started to slowly change
from red-white to light yellow like boiled meat. This was definitely a change
for the better.
One morning in the
winter, the whole neighborhood was covered by the snow, including trees. Car
traffic around the apartment building where she stayed with her husband was sparse.
Inside, water was seen seeping through the frame of the windows, and outside,
snow was being constantly blown by the wind. The farther you look the more
white snow coverage you see. Bang-One reached out for a thick coat and used it
to cover her body and stay warm. She crossed her arms and looked farther away
mumbling, “Oh, my God! The sky doesn’t look the same anymore, and the wind is
blowing in all directions. The days are also much shorter. I wonder how my parents and younger sisters
and brothers are doing.”
That day was the third
day she has been waiting for Chantai to come home. He was supposed to be back couple
of days ago. Winter in New York can be
very cold, especially for an immigrant coming from a warm country. She waited
for Chantal, lying on the soft mattress of a king-size bed. To her, that was like
spending the night on the snow ground, ruining her skin and her body. She badly
missed her home and started thinking about her past.
Three weeks have gone
by, and Chantal’s where-about was still a mystery that tremendously increased
Bang-One’s worry. Chantai told her before that he had to go to work several
thousand kilometers away from New-York and would come home on the week-end, but
that was three weeks ago. Could there be unpredicted work schedule changes or even
some bad accidents? She thought of tons of things. Clearly, she could not stay
by herself without Chantai. If something were happened to him, what would she
do without a single relative living in the area? She didn’t know how to resolve
all those potential issues; the more she thought about them, the weaker and
colder she felt.
Bang-One struggled to
wait for her husband one more month. She hated having all those worries and,
besides, her spending money will soon be all but gone. What would she do then
without Chantai? How would she pay for the rent and the food? She had no work.
What on earth happened to Chantai? She sure would like to know.
Days and nights continued
to move forward. The money she had in her purse was just enough to cover the
next two days’ expenses. Bang-One might have to change apartment and put her
English to work. She had to survive the cold weather and do dish washing jobs
for her neighbors to pay for her food. She had to accept the sad reality that
she was now a destitute eagerly waiting for Chantai to come home each time she
breathed.
Today, she got up
early as usual. She washed the dishes and did some cleaning job for money. As she
was about to get to bed, someone knocked at the door. She rushed to the door
hoping that it might be Chantai, but her hope quickly vanished when the
visitors turned out to be a black man and a woman instead. They spoke very quick
English. She tried to pay attention and this all she could hear,
“I am here to collect
your rent."
When she heard those
words, she was even more frightened. Before they moved in the apartment, Chantai
used to tell her that he had bought it for his family. She didn’t know how to
react during this time of crisis but somehow managed to control herself and found
the right English words to engage in the conversation,
"Chantai is not
here. I have no money to pay you."
“O.K! It doesn't
matter if you don’t have any money, but you will not be able to stay here anymore
because your rent has expired."
“But Chantai told me
this is an apartment he bought."
“No! He rented it from
us for three months only. Therefore, you will have to leave."
It was as if the sky
had crumbled over her. She didn’t know what to do except asking for permission
to stay on to no avail. She ran out of ideas and, in the end, had to carry her
suit case out of the apartment and walked on the snow covered street flushed by
the wind. She didn’t know which way to go, except moving ahead and hoping to
run into someone who would be willing to give her a lift. And all that was just
a dream.
The sky changed its
color; darkness came. Bang-One was tired of walking aimlessly, landed her suit
case on the ground, feeling exhausted and hungry. She covered her chest and
looked at the sky above her. New York at sunset looked lonesome and sad. She
thought about Chantai. She wanted Chantai to come and help her. She cried and
flooded both of her cheeks with tears. She remained on the street and
murmured," Chantai! Where are you? Why did you leave me by myself? Why are
you gone for so long? Do you know how much I am suffering right now? I have
nowhere to go and no place to spend the night.
The big overcoat
didn’t help very much in warming her. She hid herself behind a container,
shaking from the cold, dying of hunger, and moaning. The only thing she wished to
see at this time was a quick end of the night of sufferance. She pulled all the
clothes she could find from her suit case and put them on.
Not too many people
realized that the white snow cover was then very thick and stretched for miles
and miles. Under those conditions, it was difficult to guess what might be
lying underneath the snow, including a human creature about to freeze to death.
The next thing Bang-One remembered after regaining consciousness was her lying
on a soft mattress and hearing some words. She knew right away those words were
from somebody of a different nationality than hers. “She is a beautiful girl! I
like her very much.”
She understood those
words thanks to the English lessons she took for a year. All the English words
she has learned have been put to use.
Finally, there was nothing she could do to avoid becoming the wife of
John Havert.
At first, Bang-One
thought that as soon as she is strong enough to move, she would escape. But the more she thought about it, the more
questions she had to answer, including where to go, whom to look for, who is
he, and how does he connect with me? There were also some positive signs to
consider, like he would always come home with a small gift for her. She smiled
to him and made him feel she was happy and wanted to stay with him forever.
During the past three to four months, the misfortune that she went through because
of Chantai started to fade away. One could start seeing smiles on her thin lips
and hearing some laughers from her mouth.
Today, Bang-One had to
use both of her hands to get up and slowly headed to the door in response to
three or four knocks. Once the door was open, John Havert stepped inside and
made an angry remark,
“Why did you take so
long to open the door?"
“I am sick. You knew
that."
“I am not worried; you
are not my mother. You are only a hired wife. Don't argue with me."
He then pushed her on
the chest and slammed her against the wall. Bang-One’s head hit a post, forcing
a quick complain,
”Why did you do that?
I am your wife."
“Now you are telling
me you are my wife? Let me repeat, ‘you are a temporary hired wife, not my
wife.”
“John, if you do not
love me, why did you keep me? Why didn’t you let me die on the snow? That would
have been the end of it!"
“Shut up!” The dispute
heated up. Bang-One became a boxing target for John to test the strength of his
hands and his feet. She couldn’t stand the push and felt to the floor with
bruises all over her body.
She woke up in a warm
bed with two people sitting quietly beside her.
"She now can move,"
somebody said.
Bang-One tried to open
her eyes, but without success. She only felt in great pain and couldn’t move at
all. She tried to take a deep breath to fill her lung and energize herself. The
voices of the two people talking nearby became gradually clearer to her. She
could hear the voice of a woman and a man, speaking sometimes in English and
sometimes in Lao. This prompted her to try to open her eyes to see who were
there to help her.
A few minutes later, she
was able to kind of guess who those two people were. One was black and tall; and the other, who
was slowly cleaning Bang-One’s arm with a tissue, was yellow-white and of light
stature.
"She has recovered
from the shock. Bring some warm water to wash her face."
This voice was clear.
Bang-One slowly regained control of herself and started weeping with gratitude
and relief. She said thank you with a struggling voice. It might be that God
has not decided to end her life yet. God somehow wanted her to keep on living
to show her bruises to other women.
'"I’m so lucky,"
Bang-One said with self-confidence.
“I also think I was
lucky because Johnny and I have known each other through E-mail. Then he got a
chance to go to Laos, and sent me money to learn English for a year. After we
were married, we moved to the US. Excuse me, how did you come over here?”
Bouavone asked.
Bang-One took a deep
breath, looked at the floor with sadness, walked toward the window, and began
to slowly tell her long story.
“My experience is the
same as yours, except that after living together for three months, my husband
went to work away from New York. He told me he would be back by the end of the
week, but that was quite some time ago as I mentioned before," Bang-One
said off and on with tears in her eyes.
"So, can you tell
me what his name was?"
"His name was
Chantai."
Upon hearing that
name, Bouavone and Johnny looked at each other with surprise. Bouavone moved
closer to Bang-One, put her hands on her shoulders and padded her back to
comfort her. Bouavone opened her mouth to say something, but had to stop when
Johnny raised his hand. Bang-One looked at the couple with suspicion.
“Don't worry! You can stay
with us here. Just treat us as your own brother and sister" Johnny said
articulately. He then added,
"Don't worry
about your work; I will help you find a job. When you don’t have a job, you can
stay home and watch the kid for us," Johnny said, catching eyes with
Bouavone. “Take it easy! We are going out for a short period; take care of our
kid," said Bouavone while patting Bang-One’s head.
Then, Johnny and
Bouavone drove away toward the main street, heading for the super market. After
the car was parked and as Bouavone stepped out of the car; Johnny grabbed her
hand and said;
"Don't tell her
that Chantai was already married. If we
did, Bang-One would be very distressed and might even kill herself."
“What shall we
do?"
“Do you know that
Chantai lied to his wife and told her he was going to do business in Laos. In reality,
he went there to get a minor wife. He just came back from Laos a month ago. He
rented an apartment to stay with Bang-One for a short time."
“What shall we do?
Shouldn’t we tell her anything at all?"
“We will let her know,
but not right now. First, we should find her a job. We can tell her later."
“In that case, we have
to help Bang-One,” Bouavone concluded.
November 18, 2003
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